Baby: M-m
Mom: Mama?
Baby: The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

evenflow-yo:

Mom, leave for work so I can toke.

ohdaesusie:

this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

charlieismyqueen:

esotericbeefarmer:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.

image

Yes.

image

Hell yes.

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Hell.

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Fucking.

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Yes.

I am so, so proud of you.

When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you. 

(via youwillunderstand)

Come home.